Happy Thanksgiving, thieves and thugs (a.k.a. Me vs. Straw Man)

Hey, Happy Thanksgiving.

Hey yourself.

What the hell’s wrong with you?

I don’t think you get to ask me that anymore.

Umm, this is out of nowhere. Seriously, what’s your problem?

I know it seems out of nowhere, and that’s my fault. So I’ll tell you what my problem is with you: you’re willing to take from me whatever you want, imprison me if I don’t comply, and kill me if I try to resist. That’s my problem with you.

What are you talking about?  This some of your libertarian bullshit, right?

I know you don’t like it, and I know you think it’s bullshit. I think your political philosophy sucks too.  That doesn’t change the fact that you’re willing to point a gun at me to get what you want. That revokes your right to a rational discussion with me.

What gun? Wait, I know this Ayn Rand crap. You’re talking about the police enforcing laws, right?  You’re pissed because of the laws I support?

It’s not so much that you support them.  That would just make you an ideological enemy, and I’ve got no problem discussing these ideas with people who don’t agree with me. But you actually implement these laws.  You believe in them enough to kill me, and I’m not helping you pretend otherwise.  You might think it’s not that bad because you’re only voting to have other people do it for you, but that doesn’t change anything.  I pay butchers and slaughterhouses to kill animals for my food.  That doesn’t stop me from being a willing animal killer.  I’m not pretending to be anything else.  The laws you support mean more to you than my life.

Your life and your friendship mean something to me, you know that.

I know.  But not enough to let me live my own life.  That’s not enough.  Hell, I wouldn’t expect the cows I’m willing to slaughter for my Whopper to take much comfort in the fact that I don’t want them to suffer.  That doesn’t make me any less of a cow killer.

You are aware that it’s not just me who feels this way, right? It’s not like I’m the first person to think that we each have an obligation to help our neighbors. Are you fighting the whole world now?

Well sorta. I’m in opposition to most of the rest of the world, but I wouldn’t consider this fighting. There’s nothing I want from you. I am trying to defend myself from you, is that fighting?

Like hell there’s nothing you want from us. Everything you have isn’t yours. You’re the one trying to get away with other people’s property.

Okay, I get it. So in your mind I’m the thief, I’m the one who’s forfeiting the right to a rational discussion. I suppose this could be where we start calling each other names, or punching each other.  Let’s try something else.  I certainly have no problem in letting you and the other folks who believe what you do doing your own thing on your own property. How about extending the same courtesy to me and my kind? How do we exit your system? I mean, do we really owe you forever? Is this some sort of permanent debt, never to be repaid?

The debt is only permanent because you keep on incurring it. You keep on reaping the benefits of living in my world. You’ve gotta pay.

But I don’t want to reap those benefits anymore. I don’t want to pay. How do I opt out?

You can’t. There’s no practical way for you to disentangle yourself from these benefits. You’ve gotta pay your share.

Wonderful. I get a Christmas present I’m not asking for, and then I’m told I owe you for it. And I can say I don’t want this present next year, and I’m told too frigging bad, we can’t be bothered to figure out how to leave you out. You can understand why I’ve got a crappy attitude regarding you at least, right?

I don’t see why. Worldwide consensus is this is the way to go. Just suck it up.

This is what I mean. You don’t give a shit what I think, and you’re not willing to leave me alone. This is what I’m unwilling to take anymore. 

Just what do you think you’re going to do about it?

I’m not sure. But while you’re still supporting laws that treat me like some sort of farm animal, I’m not going to treat you like a peer. You’re an enemy.

I’m not sure what sort of life you expect to have if you really feel this way. Sounds like you’re in for a lot of misery.

That’s just it. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not sure what sort of life I expected to have by pretending that if I just ignored how I was being treated that things would magically get better. I was a dope, and now I’m paying for it. I actually think that lots of people have been dopey about this, and now the world is paying for it. But on the bright side, I’ve now got the pride of knowing that I’m doing what I can to turn things around.

Good for you. And don’t forget to file your taxes on time.

Go to hell. I don’t think that’s funny.

I do.

That’s because you’re a piece of crap taking enjoyment from making someone dance at gunpoint. Leave me alone.

No.